We were told every human on every continent would hear it.
And in every corner of the earth people would feel it.
It was here – our destiny!
The moment when everything would become apparent.
The moment when the prophecy would come true, when we would be be held up and held to account.
I looked up, shielded my eyes, squinted.
This was it. I opened my mind, but my body grimaced in fear.
It’s late, I noted looking down at my watch.
I waited some more,then a voice from the front of the gathered throng inside the auditorium spoke. It was the Charlatan.
‘Sorry, so sorry everyone, I must have got my calculations wrong, the end of the world is not today. Let me go home and re calibrate my calculus machine, let me go home and commune the Mighty One. Pretty sure, its probably an adding mistake, yep that’s what it will be. If it’s not, everyone will need to contribute more tithes so I can buy a new one.
But, if it’s an adding mistake, which I’m sure it is, the end of the world will be the same time tomorrow, so see you all here then, you need to have faith – okay?’
The departing exodus talked in hushed tones as they moved toward the car park.
‘I can’t make it tomorrow, I’ve got a dentist appointment,’ said a fat man wearing black.
‘My daughter Sienna has soccer practice, and my husband needs the car,’ said a woman visibly pregnant.
‘Well I wouldn’t miss it,’ I scorned derisively, ‘the end of the world; you’d have to be crazy to miss that. Besides the Charlatan has never let us down before has he, you need to have faith!’
‘One thing is for sure,’ another person chimed in. ‘I’m the Charlatan’s Travel Agent and he’s booked a month in the Greek Isles from next week, so the end of the world won’t be happening then.’
Kia Ora Roly
Ps: Recent events in NZ have inspired this post which is about no one in particular.