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Crossroads have featured prominently in my life this week, crossroads at which a decision needs to be made.

No one told me when I was a child that as an adult you had to make decisions. Decisions that were important. Decisions that could alter the direction of your life – go one way or another.


I kinda feel that I wasn’t really prepared all that well for this adult malarkey. I had no idea making decisions could be so hard. Now, I don’t blame my mother, like most parents she had herself not been prepared to deal with all the wonderfully awful things that can happen in ones life.

When I was a young man, I dreaded arriving at crossroads. I stewed over them, stressed, even became ill. I was petrified that I would choose the wrong option, go the wrong way. And in many instances I probably did. Like choosing not to meet the parents of a stunningly beautiful young woman I wanted to date. She had insisted that I meet her parents before she would go out with me. I choose instead to go to the pub with my mates. She went on to model and become a cover girl for glossy fashion magazines. But, so much more importantly, she was so nice. I mean really nice. As I tell my daughter Maddie, it’s nice to be pretty, but much nicer to be nice. Of course, I write this tongue and cheek, because while this door never opened, it enabled the door into Kate’s heart and life to be opened wide.


I wish I hadn’t fought Marty C and punched Ward M, I wished I hadn’t snogged Rob L’s girlfriend. I wished I hadn’t been mean and so terribly cruel to Luke S; that I hadn’t streaked at a 21st party where unbeknown to me my God Mother was in attendance. But these decisions were a young man’s folly, silly unimportant decisions, from which important life lessons were learnt.

These days I am not afraid of decisions. I do not stew, anguish or stress over them. These days I don’t feel the need for speed, the need to make hasty or instant decisions. No, I am quite happy to delay and stall my journey. To stop, take a seat at the junction and think. For when you stop, the world slows down, vision improves, clarity appears. When you stop on your journey, you have the luxury of talking and listening to other people, people who might be stalled themselves. You get the ability to see other’s pass along the same roads and you can question their direction.

So here I am sitting at the cross roads, waiting, thinking, reflecting, relaxing and cherishing the thought that the next decision I make could be the start of a wonderful new adventure, or a continuation of a journey toward a destination I have been heading toward for years. Its not scary – it’s exciting!

And as for preparing Maddie for adulthood and the decisions she will need to make in the future. Well later today we have a Maddie-Daddy date and I am going to grab two deckchairs, something to eat and drink and sit on the pedestrian overbridge on the State Highway 6 roundabout and watch the traffic go by! I’m sure she will be thrilled!


Kia Ora Roly



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