A man, a beer, and a barby

A man,

A beer,

and a barby

The holy trinity of summer.

What is it about BBQ’s that brings the man out from the cave? Is it some paleolithic calling from the wilds of time? Is it man’s constant urge to impress that persuades men to don long tongs and spatula’s?

As Chris Rea once wrote and sang, ‘I don’t know what it is but I love it.’

I must confess we have only had 2 BBQ’s this summer. However, with Kate and Maddie being away for 5 weeks in January there seemed little point in firing up my best mate to sizzle 2 or 3 sausages, maybe a chop or kebab and an ear of corn.

Now that they’re back I’ve called open season on BBQ’s. There is nothing more relaxing, enriching or empowering than coming home after a hot, hard days work than grabbing a beer (or 2) heading outside into an enchanted and warm evening and firing up the Barby.

These days  Bar B Ques are made from stainless steel, from alloys used in satellites and space ships. They are huge, have 6 burners, rotisserie rods, hoods and elements. Oh My God I saw one the other day which had a water storage compartment!

landscape-1452013876-wfirst.jpeg  www.popularmechanics.com

But, I don’t need to go to space. It might be the caveman in me but I don’t see the need to measure my manhood using the BBQ burner scale. My BBQ is vintage. It’s a 12 year old thing of beauty and character. It sits on top of a rickety wooden trolley. It only has 3 burners. And, although the trolley has wheels, it couldn’t make to the end of the driveway let alone into space.


But Man, can it cook!

In days gone by, I’ve gone down the grill to thrill route. Marinades, rubs and sauces, glazes, relishes, butters all smeared lovingly over fish cakes, kebabs, skewers, expensive cuts of meat, salmon and game. Served with grilled fruit, gourmet salads and specialty breads. Yes, a taste sensation; but as the Barby Maestro, I always felt fake, an impostor, as if I was a show pony, a veneer of Kiwi Man, a cardboard cutout, someone who worshiped at the alter of the grill but really didn’t understand why.

No, these days just give me some oil, some ears of corn, give me a chop and a pound of sausages. Give me some steaks, drumsticks and some mushrooms and onion. Yes, give me all that, and I will show you a man, a contented and connected man. Then throw me a beer and I’ll show you a man who is at one with the wonders of faith and the universe. Vintage barby and all.

Image credit: NASA/ESA, The Hubble Key Project Team and The High-Z Supernova Search Team.

Image credit: NASA/ESA, The Hubble Key Project Team and The High-Z Supernova Search Team.

Kia Ora Roly






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