Facia Book

From the annals of a grumpy old and lonely man – I give you:

signF_op_600x600 (2)acia Book

MeJust checked into hotel at Monte Cristo – not a bad room – upgraded to a suite!

MeCheck out my new wheels – sweet ride – man she goes

MeKate and I going to Opera tonight to see Don Giovanni – best seats in house

MeHad dinner last night at Jamie Oliver’s – superb

MeGoing out on the plonk tonight with you know who? Oh yes it is – the Rolster is back in town!

MeCan you believe it? Ran into Mel Gibson at the pub last night and Cate Blanchett at the swimming pool!

MeOmg – Lost 14 kg’s this week – wedding suit still doesn’t suit though – now its too big!

MeMy life is so perfect and I’m so great that I know you all hate my guts – but bet you press like anyway!

How it really is:

ostrichI crashed the work car yesterday – do you think if I don’t tell anyone – I can get away with it?

ostrichI called out Erin’s name last night while making love to Kate – now I’m sleeping on the couch and she’s talking about bringing her mother over.

ostrichMy fungal infection has come back with a vengeance -yuck smelly and itchy – flaky too

ostrichI ate so much last night that when I went to go to the toilet to throw up – I couldn’t get out of the chair and when I did I split my pants. Then when I bent over to inspect the damage – I accidentally farted.

ostrichKate says unless I apologise for my behaviour last Saturday night she’s taking the kids and leaving me.

ostrichFor the 3rd month in a row – I won’t make target and performance management is just around the corner.

ostrichMy hemorrhoids  are killing me,  my backs about to go out and I have to go to the dentist next week (first time in 9 years)

ostrichMy place absolutely reeks  – as I keep forgetting to buy a rubbish bag. Can’t be arsed doing anything today – think I will sit around in my undies and waste time playing computer games.

Summary

My life is not perfect and neither am I – so the life you see on online in no way shape, or form resembles real life. Let’s be honest, it’s just a shallow veneer of all the good bits that I want you to see because I think they will make you jealous.

Look at me!

Sure, these bits are real – but not real life – its just a facia!

 

 

 

 

 

4 thoughts on “Facia Book

    • Thanks Mike, I’m pleased to add that in this instance Meatloaf didn’t get entirely right – but hey, one out of three ain’t bad! According to the Minister of Matrimony that’s all I’m permitted to share.

      Like

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