I hate selfies!
For all the things you capture in a selfie – you miss a million other and much more important things. Camera’s shoot in straight lines, life is omnipresent.
Man charged over fatal crash
‘Colin Siddons, your’e under arrest for failing to stop at a traffic light, thereby causing a fatal accident, you don’t have to say anything, but I warn you anything you do say may be held against you in a court of law. You understand?’
‘I do…I do. I’m so sorry Officer but I was taking a selfie. I never saw the lights change. You see, I’d never seen the parliament building before.’
‘Save it for court Siddon’s, get in the back of the car.’
‘Officer, Officer, sorry, but before I do, can I please get a selfie with you and can I take one in the police car too?’
Three months later:
The courtroom was packed, its tight space crammed with journalists, lawyers, witnesses and jury, a tired old stenographer and in the far back corner a weeping wife and three wide eyed, open mouthed, tear stained red-cheeked children, none of whom Colin noticed.
‘Wow,’Colin whispered to himself before turning his back on the judge and taking a selfie with all those who had gathered for his sentencing.
‘Mr Siddon’s,’ the judge roared,
‘Mr Siddon’s! You have been found guilty of dangerous and reckless driving causing death, I was going to send you to prison for 5 years, but now after that display I am changing my sentence. Have you anything to say before I pronounce this sentence upon you?’
‘No, your honour, except, is it possible to get a selfie with you before you do?’
The judge’s head shook in dismay, the judge then reached below the bench, eventually producing a black cap which was placed snugly onto top of the judicial wig.
Colin Siddons, for your fecklessness, for crimes against vanity, art and self obsession, I now sentence you to immediate cell phone confiscation, and a lifetime ban on selfies, camera’s, tablets, twitter, Facebook and all other forms of social media. May God have mercy on your followers.’
Colin winced and fell to his knees, sobbing loudly, not my phone,no not my tablet. No…please…no!
Take them away the judge yelled loudly!
The gathered crowd in the courtroom cheered and applauded, they all stood and whooped and congratulated themselves, slapping each others backs with wide beaming smiles adorning their faces – even Colin’s wife and children joined in the celebration.
“Scales of Justice” statue representing the Roman goddess of justice personifying moral force. (Photo via wikimedia commons)