I’m feeling much better now!

This week I’ve been in a great head space.

Things are going well at work and at home.

So far this month I’ve placed 8 people into employment. While it doesn’t seem many, these people live with barriers  and disabilities ranging from:

  • MS
  • Epilepsy
  • Mental Illness
  • Hearing Impairments, and
  • Intellectual disability

The impact of gaining employment for these people will be immense, and it gives me a great deal of satisfaction that I can support them into work and move forward in their lives.

At home, Kate, Maddie and I are busy planning for the exciting month of December and Christmas. This year we have the family to visiting us in Nelson rather than having to head down south to Christchurch.

christmas 1christmas2

So being in such a great head space and feeling much better about life, I turned my thoughts to death.

grim reaper

As you do.

Some strange voice inside me was whispering to me – ‘mate you’ve got to get your funeral plans sorted!’ (I hope its not a premonition of my imminent or forthcoming departure).

Kate knows I want to be cremated, and she knows I want my ashes scattered in a beautiful boxed canyon up the headwaters of the Avoca River deep in the Southern Alps (how’ll she’l get there I have no idea)!


She also knows she has my complete blessing to find love again. But what she doesn’t really know is how my life should be celebrated. So here goes!

  1. After death, but before cremation I do not want to be left in the cold, sterile  unfamiliar setting of a funeral directors home. I want the cask to be brought home and plonked in living room (ok will settle for a bedroom). I want to be surrounded by my loved ones. Death in our family generally mean copious amounts of alcohol and I do not want to miss out on the action. Tears, laughter, fights and makeups are the life blood of families and I want to supp it up one last time.
  2. I do not want a church Service – my presence would be outrageously blasphemous  and church does not currently align with my view of the universe and how it all works. No, I want a simple ceremony, maybe in lovely garden somewhere, certainly with lots of trees and birds about.
  3. Music is a big part of my life and I would hate to leave Kate with the onerous task of having to choose appropriate music, so here is the playlist for my departure.

Opening Tune

Second Tune

Third Tune 

Now I want to be wheeled out of the service – not carried. The two women pushing the trolley should be dressed as cleaners/char ladies (getting rid of the rubbish).

char ladies

Now the departure of the cask is usually one of the most emotionally charged moments of a funeral – so I would like to lighten the mood with the following departure song – the ultimate kiwi kitsch klassic!

Then at the crematorium, as I slide down the conveyor belt toward my furnace I would like the music  from Time Team to be played (my penultimate joke – as there ain’t no way I’m getting dug up!)

Then as I glide through the velvet curtain and out of view. I want the technician (who is to be dressed in an asbestos suit) to press the stop button and then press the reverse button: so I can suddenly re-emerge into the foyer.

And as I re-emerge I want the following song to be played really loudly

Hopefully, I will have many opportunities to change my mind about the above plans – because as I say, ‘I’m feeling much better now!’



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