Blogger Man and Comment Dog
The first exciting installment of this serial crime to intellegience can be found by clicking the following link.
Comment Dog and I hit the pavement with all the usual low life’s who were slinking and scuttling about the grimy and gummy pavements of downtown Scum City.
Steam rose from the grates, emitting stifling heat and horrid smells from the labyrinth of tunnels used by the subway below. But that wasn’t that underground we were after.
Comment Dog hit up one of his informants, a snitch named Theresa – a cold hearted bitch if there ever was one. Theresa worked as a night guard at the Metropolitan Carpark and usually sniffed out trouble long before the idiots at the Scum City PD could pull out their litter bags and clean it up.
No pleasantries were exchanged as we approached her – no sniffing or tail wagging.
‘Whats the word on the street?’ Barked Comment Dog.
‘Answer me quick Theresa – or it will be more than your chain I’ll be pulling; I”ll be covering you in tuna and dragging your sorry arse all the way down to the cat shelter.’
‘You mean the banana’s?’ snarled Theresa realising Comment Dog meant every word.
Comment Dog tilted his head, his eyes boring into her – his ears twitched in acknowledgement.
Theresa swallowed hard on her dog biscuit and started to cough. ‘Well just this evening – a hella-of-a -lot of nana hit the streets – good stuff too – high quality – as we speak primates are overdosing all over the city.
‘Jesu, I muttered – you know who’s behind this Theresa?’
‘No,’ she whispered – ‘I don’t know who’s behind it – but I do know who’s distributing them.’
At that moment a car engine started, wheels screeched, and a car came thundering down from the next level.
‘Run,’ I yelled; but it was too late for Theresa, unable to move quickly enough – she took the full force of the vehicle front on.
Poor old Theresa, she had rolled over for the last time and was playing dead for real.
Comment Dog and I walked out of the car park in silence.
Useless bloody dog I thought, why couldn’t he chase cars like any other decent dog?
Just as I was just about to ask Comment Dog, ‘what next?’I suddenly heard a voice calling from behind an overflowing dumpster.
‘You looking for some Chinese food or information?’
Comment Dog wandered off and started foraging around scattered bins pretending to look for clues.
As I approached the street bum muttered, it’ll cost.’
He smelt worse than the dumpster and almost as bad as Comment Dog, I moved back a few paces. A street lamp flickered on and off.
‘You Blogger Man?’ He asked.
‘Well for $2.00 I can tell you who was driving that car, the one that just sped out of the carpark. And for 50 cents I can tell you your fly is undone.
I reached into my pocket and flicked him $2 bucks. Thanks I said zipping myself up.
The bum smiled and Comment dog took a leak against the lamp post.
‘It was Eddie the Grocer – he was the one who was driving.’
‘Eddie the grocer,’ I gasped! ‘Are you sure?’
‘As sure as soap hasn’t touched my body for at least 90 days.’
‘That sure then,’ I winced.
Eddie was well known to me, our paths had crossed before. He was the genious behind the gherkin jar debacle of 2013 and the faulty ice cream cone kerfuffle a year later. Yes, he was evil as he was clever, and must be stopped, and I knew exactly where to find him.
C’mon Comment Dog, I yelled, pull that leg down, we’ve a bunny to catch.
- Who is this bunny and why has he made Comment Man hopping mad?
- Will Eddie the Grocer get away with another heinous crime toward produce?
- Will the dumpster Bum use his $2.00 to buy some soap?
- And finally, will Comment Dog sniff out something tasty for his supper?
Stay tuned for the next exciting edition of Blogger Man!