In a rare moment of self awareness, Phili a rugged hunter, one of the 2 main male Characters in my Novel, The Cry of the Kuaka, says the following.
‘No one ever taught me how to be a man, so if I’ve got faults then it’s entirely my own doing; all my life I have just got on and done my own thing. Everything you see is self-made. Sure mum taught me morals, values, respect and good manners, and sure school taught me how to read, write and count. But the man you see today is entirely my own creation. Of course, I didn’t set out to become who I am; I don’t think anybody ever does. I just arrived.’
How true is that for many of us?
Let me be quite clear – Phili is not me – although I admit I invested a hang of a lot into Phili. In many ways I honestly think Phili is far more rounded than I am. Perhaps he is someone whom I aspire to be.
In a self enforced weeks retreat of reflection I have given self awareness a lot of thought. I am my own man, undoubtedly. No one I know see’s the world in the way I see it, and I’m not afraid of that. No one I know can claim my highs and lows, my successes and failures. They have all shaped me as much as DNA and upbringing.
But this week I’ve come to the conclusion, in this wild ride called life there are yet still many more twists and turns. So, no, I have not arrived. I’m not talking spirituality, I’m not talking serendipity. No, I’m talking about the ability to change direction, to explore, and more importantly the willingness to do so.
Kia Ora Roly